forgive those that trespass against us

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this is the view from my desk.

hello my lovely pikes peak.

hey there 2 joggers and a bicyclist on the path.

the path is where i first saw my alarming trespasser one week ago this afternoon.

first oddity: he was walking very slowly looking across at my property. he never took his eyes off of it.  i never took my eyes off of him. wtf is he looking at? he finally disappeared northward on the bike path.

do you see in the foreground of my window view that square shape made out of timber?  that is the access to the septic tank AND the very edge of my side of the creek, it goes down maybe 25-30 feet quite sharply.

second oddity: MY side of the creek is where the the trespasser showed up next!! he was walking along that timbered edge & looking down the bank… at least not looking at my house or at me in the window!  i immediately crouched out of view so i could just peep at him and continued with my WTF? observations.

Later he got into a wooded area that is part of my acre here, and i lost view of him. i went upstairs and saw that he was stopped at the edge, again looking down, as if he was trying to find a way to climb down the bank….  sorry, not without rappelling with a rope. finally he “gave up” and i watched his every step down my street until he turned a corner.

third oddity: back at my laptop at my desk & here he comes AGAIN, walking north on the bike path once more. Jesus.

i called my man-friend to get feedback on what to do if he showed up on my property again. should i confront him? after i told him everything that was going on, there was a moment of silence. after a big sigh, my friend asked me if i had heard about the home invasion & rape of a 71 year old woman the other night not far from me. he took $100 and a blanket and told her he was homeless.

fourth oddity: my trespasser fit the description of that guy perfectly.

i got my 72 year old female housemate and got the hell out FAST.

it’s been a tough week.

i forgive that trespasser because he has helped me with something very important. i am finally moving forward on vastly improving the security of my property. been overdue despite my man-friend’s pleas from when i first moved here 2+ years ago now (“CUT DOWN THAT SCRAPPY WOODED AREA, bums wanna hide in there!” — which is true, i have found evidence), despite several OTHER trespassing incidents, and even despite a call to police for one incident and a long lecture by the two officers about what i need to take care of to be safe (CUT DOWN ALL THAT FOLIAGE IN FRONT!)

i can be immoveable.

i can learn through joy or i can wait until i learn through pain.

thank you trespasser. i will soon have a cleared front yard, a 6 foot cedar fence around the entire perimeter (added bonus: no visiting children tumbling down the bank!) and one of these doggies?

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what am i blogging about? (OR: i guess my funeral plans have changed)

i included “health and healing” in the subtitle of my blog because this is a passion of mine:  the pursuit of physical health, spiritual health, emotional health, relationship health, you-name-it health… yet i have no idea if that theme will take shape or not.

i might blog about progress on landscaping my spot on monument creek.

i have been known to post photos of my pretty green smoothies on facebook. many times.

good chance you’ll be hearing about the (crazy) growth and (fun) development of the many little peeps i am privileged to spend time with.

i’ve thought often of writing about mental illness.

i love highly recommending great books that i’ve read.  (and that is why i’m gonna have to change my funeral plans…  i was creating a “pam’s list of top 3 dozen books to read” for those poor attendees. now i’ll just take care of that here).

I KNOW THAT I DON’T KNOW

it could be that what i am really supposed to blog about is something that hasn’t even happened yet. and maybe i am starting now because i will need a few years of practice first.

MORE WILL BE REVEALED is my current favorite slogan.  i used to have such an impatient edge to my curiosity.  no, that’s not right, it isn’t a “used to” situation… i’m still built that way: i want to know when i want to know!  but with age and recovery i have relaxed more with the not-knowing. my fave slogan gives me reassurance that it is okay to wait & trust in the unfolding.

peace.

why am i blogging?

i’m going to free associate on that.

because i am not overeating. at all. ever. anymore.

er, oops, i mean ONE DAY AT A TIME.

wait a sec.  really?

YES everything has finally clicked for me in terms of my personal food plan and what i need for my abstinence (sobriety) from compulsive overeating.  i feel it deep in my bones.

this is a CLICK i have been desiring, looking for, working toward for decades.

time to celebrate!

celebrate having more time!  less eating and less thinking about eating = a good amount of extra.

time to write?

i’m feeling that big time today.  i woke up ready to begin writing.  needing to begin writing.  why? can’t really say except that it is up for me and so far i am happily obliging. lets see where it takes me. maybe you guys can tell me.

what am i going to blog about?

i will free associate on that question in my second post.  gleeeee.